Ugh, when did getting stoned become so much work? Back in my day, there was one kind of weed: whatever strain your dealer had in stock. And there were only three ways to enjoy it: through a perforated apple, rolled up in a crude approximation of a joint, or out of a brass pipe you had a homeless guy buy for you on Haight Street. (Thanks again, Igloo!) Never did I have to worry about whether I had the right kind of charging cable or port adapter, only whether my BIC lighter still had gas. Now I've got to consider indicas vs sativas, THC vs CBD, and whether I want to smoke, vape, sublimate, eat or drink my weed. It's all getting to be just a bit much.
That's why this 4/20, I'm going back to basics. I'm going to roll a couple monster joints and eat as much weed butter-smeared sourdough toast as my belly will hold. Of course that doesn't mean I'm going old school all the way and doing this all by hand. Here are the gadgets I'll be using to stoner-proof the process.
Rolling Along
If Pineapple Express showed us nothing else, it's that joint rolling is both a skill and an art form. But the dexterity and muscle memory needed to consistently twist bones that won't run, gum up or go out doesn't come equally easy to everybody -- and sometimes not at all. So rather than spend the 4/20 holiday watching YouTube tutorials on the subject (unless that's something you're into), why not just have the OTTO AI-enabled robotic weed grinder roll you a nice cone j so you can get on with your green day?
The $130 OTTO grinder from Banana Bros is officially dubbed an "automatic cone-filling machine," which is accurate. The machine consists of two halves: a transparent plastic base that holds the pre-rolled cone and a electric-powered AI-controlled mechanical grinder that sits atop it. The grinder itself weighs about a pound and hinges open to reveal a pair of spring-loaded grinder plates.
Using it is super simple. Once you've charged the unit up with the included USB 2.0 cable, open up the grinder and pack a couple nugs in. You don't even have to destem the nugs before you put them in, the OTTO's aluminum teeth chewed through the thickest-stemmed and stickiest buds I could throw at it. That's actually where the AI comes in. The OTTO's onboard CPU tracks the amount of tension and resistance the grind plates are experiencing, then automatically adjusts the power output to compensate. This allows the machine to consistently achieve a fine particulate grind without turning it into weed dust.
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